Matt Gets the Keys

Hayden’s BYU lost 39–31 at UCF, North Dakota State lost 21–16 at New Mexico, and Iowa lost 13–10 at Minnesota. UL Monroe beat Troy 21–14 in the Toilet slot. Four active teams, zero game points. BYU fell six poll places, from No. 2 to No. 8, and Iowa dropped out from No. 15, costing eleven more. With no Week 8 picks recorded, the entire weekly entry is minus seventeen.

That leaves Hayden at 331.6 points over twenty-nine games. The total fell while the denominator grew by four. Last week BYU beat thirteen ballots and helped widen the lead. This week BYU joined the other three roster slots in filing the wrong paperwork. Hayden still has more total points than Matt Reed. Official PPG has already handed over the keys.

Sarah also got zero game points. Tennessee lost 27–24 at South Carolina, Houston lost to Matt’s Utah, and New Mexico State beat Sam Houston 30–24 in the Toilet slot. Notre Dame rested. Tennessee fell five poll places, Houston four, and idle Notre Dame one. Four correct picks reduced the ten-point poll bill to a six-point weekly loss. Sarah has 336.2 total points, still the league’s largest raw total, but thirty scoring games put her third at 11.207 PPG. The two owners who entered the weekend first and second combined for minus twenty-three new points. Accounting has requested that everyone sit down.

Last week Tom had the only Tennessee pick and the smallest weekly gain. This week he had the only Cincinnati pick, the only Wisconsin pick, the best ballot, and the biggest weekly gain. The contrarian office has finally negotiated a better compensation package.

Indiana beat Michigan 13–6, Oklahoma State beat Colorado 57–24, Illinois beat Oregon 21–10, and UMass lost 35–16 to UConn. All four slots paid 47.0 game points. Indiana climbed two poll places to No. 4, Oklahoma State reentered at No. 24 for two more, and a 6–4 ballot made 57.0 overall. Tom rose from eleventh to ninth at 9.960 PPG, only 0.129 behind Rob. Last week’s receipt was 5.7. This week’s is 57.0. Please check the decimal before submitting the expense report.

Cincinnati beat Texas Tech 37–24 and Wisconsin beat USC 24–7. Each rewarded Tom alone among thirteen ballots. Tom also joined Bryson on UCF’s win over BYU. His misses were LSU, South Carolina, Minnesota, and New Mexico. A 6–4 record led the league outright. This was not a weekend that required perfection. It required surviving the room’s opinions.

Jay made the biggest climb, thirteenth to tenth. North Texas beat Navy 49–39 for 11.0 points, Georgia State lost 38–32 to Arkansas State for 10.6, and Georgia and Washington rested. Georgia climbed two places to No. 3 anyway. Three correct picks completed 26.6, putting Jay at 9.529 PPG. Two games, two useful results, and a Sunday payment for staying home. A compact moving crew.

Spencer passed Matt Dillon for fourth. Alabama beat Texas A&M 31–20, Boise State beat Washington State 31–10, TCU lost 24–20 to West Virginia, and UTEP rested. The two wins paid 23.2; Alabama climbed three poll places and Boise State one. A 3–7 ballot made 30.2 overall and 11.055 PPG. Matt Dillon is fifth at 10.925 after Texas Tech’s loss cost five poll places. New Mexico’s win paid 10.5 and Sam Houston’s loss paid 10.6; Navy lost, and five correct picks canceled the poll deduction for a 21.1-point week.

Mo slipped from tenth to eleventh, Stan from ninth to twelfth, and Bryson from twelfth to thirteenth. Mitch, Tori, Rob, Aaron, Robbie, and Rylan held sixth, seventh, eighth, fourteenth, fifteenth, and sixteenth. Ten owners changed places. Last week the top five stayed put. This week all five needed new labels.

Mitch’s LSU beat Auburn 38–17, SMU beat California 59–20, and Toledo beat Western Michigan 45–38. Those three Standard wins paid 36.7 game points. Stanford beat NC State 31–28 in the Toilet slot, extending its new, deeply inconvenient winning habit. LSU climbed three poll places, SMU four, and five picks made 48.7 overall, second only to Tom. Mitch holds sixth at 10.813 PPG, just 0.112 behind Matt Dillon. The podium traffic has company coming from below.

Rob collected 37.2 game points from Army’s 38–35 win at Tulsa, Arizona’s 39–3 win over Iowa State, and Colorado’s 57–24 loss at Oklahoma State. Oregon lost to Tom’s Illinois. Arizona climbed three poll places and five picks completed 45.2. Rob stays eighth at 10.089 PPG. Tom’s Oklahoma State and Rob’s Colorado each paid 13.3 from the same thirty-three-point margin. Neighbors can cooperate while disagreeing about which end of the scoreboard looks best.

Tori’s Miami beat Pitt 52–23 for 12.9, Virginia lost 19–16 to Duke, and UNLV and Purdue rested. Miami stayed No. 1, the poll netted zero, and five picks made 17.9. Tori remains seventh. Mo got only Oklahoma’s 23–15 win at Mississippi State for 10.8; Clemson lost, Ohio State and Arkansas rested, and idle Ohio State climbed one place to No. 2. Four picks completed 15.8. Stan’s Louisiana and James Madison both lost, Fresno State and Oregon State rested, and the ballot supplied all four new points. The roster has referred all questions to Pick’em.

Bryson owned both Standard teams in Texas’s 34–27 win over Ole Miss. Texas paid 10.7 and climbed eight poll places; Ole Miss paid zero and fell five. Liberty’s 34–6 win at Kennesaw State added 12.8, while Ohio won in the Toilet slot. Four picks and a net three poll points made 30.5. His PPG still fell to 9.021, and thirteenth place is the new address. Owning both sides guarantees a winner. It also guarantees the other part.

Matt Reed’s Northern Illinois takes Employee of the Weak with its 56–21 loss to Aaron’s Hawai’i. Both owners collected 13.5. Colorado’s thirty-three-point loss paid Rob 13.3, UMass’s nineteen-point loss paid Tom 11.9, Sam Houston’s six-point loss paid Matt Dillon 10.6, and Georgia State’s six-point loss paid Jay 10.6. Five of the eleven active Toilet teams lost. This department had more unhelpful winners than useful losers.

UL Monroe, New Mexico State, Stanford, Ohio, Boston College, and Arizona State all won. Boston College beat Georgia Tech 49–27, Arizona State beat Kansas State 28–17, and the other four wins were equally unwelcome to their owners. UTEP, Purdue, Oregon State, Arkansas, and Charlotte were idle. Last week Stanford’s win looked like a misunderstanding. Two wins in a row suggests the employee has read the incentive plan and decided to ignore it.

Aaron had Penn State, South Florida, and Charlotte on bye. His only active team, Hawai’i, won by 35 and supplied all 13.5 game points. Five picks made 18.5 overall, and the single new scoring game lifted his PPG from 8.332 to 8.683. He stays fourteenth. The plumbing department took the weekend off, and the island office covered the shift.

Robbie’s Memphis beat East Carolina 41–34 for 10.7. San Diego State lost 56–49 at Colorado State, Boston College won in the Toilet slot, and Louisville rested. No Week 8 ballot was recorded. The gain stays 10.7, the PPG falls to 6.240, and Robbie remains fifteenth. San Diego State scored forty-nine points and still did not bring home a pool point. The scoreboard was busy; the account was not.

Rylan’s Texas A&M lost to Alabama, USC lost 24–7 at Wisconsin, and Rice lost 51–49 at FAU. Arizona State beat Kansas State in the Toilet slot. Zero game points. USC fell out from No. 16, taking ten poll points with it, and no ballot arrived to help. Rylan’s total fell to 145.9, leaving him sixteenth at 4.706 PPG. Hayden and Sarah were not the only owners who received a negative number in the mail.

Tom’s 6–4 was the only winning ballot. Aaron, Matt Dillon, Mitch, Rob, and Tori went 5–5. Bryson, Matt Reed, Mo, Sarah, and Stan went 4–6; Jay and Spencer went 3–7. Hayden, Robbie, and Rylan had no Week 8 picks recorded. Missing ballots stay separate from incorrect answers. The thirteen submitted ballots produced fifty-seven correct picks out of 130, or 43.8 percent. The family scouting department may need a long meeting.

South Carolina’s 27–24 win over Tennessee rewarded nobody. Cincinnati and Wisconsin rewarded Tom alone; Minnesota’s 13–10 win over Iowa rewarded Mitch alone; UCF rewarded only Tom and Bryson. Those five games together delivered five correct picks across sixty-five selections. Last week the room left two lonely chairs with the right answers. This week it added a chair nobody sat in.

Indiana and Utah rewarded all thirteen ballots. LSU rewarded ten, New Mexico nine, and Texas seven. Matt Reed picked Indiana over his own Michigan and New Mexico over Hayden’s North Dakota State. A 4–6 ballot was enough for his new overall lead, while Matt Dillon’s 5–5 kept the season Pick’em lead at 63. Aaron caught Mo at 60, Mitch has 58, and Rob and Tori have 57. Sarah and Bryson have 55, Matt Reed and Stan 53, Tom and Jay 52, Hayden 50, and Spencer 47. Robbie and Rylan remain at zero. The ballot penthouse still belongs to Matt Dillon, with two owners three points back.