Mitch Calls in the Whole Crew

Spencer has now climbed from tenth to sixth to fourth to third in three weeks. Alabama beat Mississippi State 56–23, Boise State beat Utah State 37–18, and UTEP lost 61–7 to New Mexico. Those three useful results paid 40.6 points. TCU lost to Hayden’s BYU, the poll netted zero, and Spencer had no Week 5 ballot recorded. The roster did enough to pass Sarah anyway: 11.980 PPG to 11.835. The missing ballot did not stop the move, but third place has only 0.145 PPG of elbow room.

Matt Dillon climbed from seventh to fifth with 35.6 new points. Texas Tech beat Colorado 29–7 for 12.2; New Mexico beat UTEP by 54 for 15.4. Navy lost to Air Force, Sam Houston was idle, and a 7–3 ballot plus one Texas Tech poll point finished the job. Matt is now at 11.533 PPG, only 0.068 ahead of Mitch. Fifth place may want to keep the moving boxes.

Rob Duane, Tom, and Mo each gained one place, to tenth, eleventh, and thirteenth. Sarah, Stan, Bryson, and Jay slipped one each; Aaron fell two; Tori fell three after last week’s five-place surge. Hayden, Matt Reed, Robbie, and Rylan held their positions. Twelve owners changed addresses. The top two still have their mail delivered to the same places.

Hayden added 37.2 points and remains first at 14.068 PPG. BYU beat TCU 17–10, North Dakota State shut out Wyoming 28–0, and UL Monroe lost 52–35 to South Alabama. That supplied 35.2 game points. Iowa’s 31–14 loss to Ohio State supplied none, then cost six poll places; BYU’s two-place climb reduced the net ranking bill to four. Six correct picks covered the bill with a little change left over.

Matt Reed had Utah, Kansas State, and Northern Illinois on bye. His only active team, Michigan, lost 20–14 to Minnesota. Zero game points, six correct picks, and a one-place Utah poll climb made seven points for the week. Matt remains second at 12.653 PPG. Hayden’s lead shrank from 2.334 to 1.415 PPG, even though Matt’s roster produced no points. Three byes limited the new denominator to one game. In this standings system, the calculator gets a vote.

Sarah’s Notre Dame, Tennessee, and Houston all won, producing 33.1 game points. New Mexico State beat Western Kentucky 34–13 in the Toilet slot, which was excellent news for New Mexico State and less useful for Sarah. Tennessee gained two poll spots and Houston lost two. With no ballot recorded, the week remained 33.1 and Sarah moved from third to fourth.

UTEP and Stanford share Employee of the Weak at 15.4 points each. UTEP’s 61–7 loss also paid Matt Dillon’s New Mexico exactly 15.4 on the Standard side. Stanford’s 57–3 loss to Wake Forest completed Mitch’s four-for-four roster. The league’s most dependable partnerships continue to involve one owner celebrating a touchdown and another celebrating the same touchdown for an entirely different reason.

Charlotte’s 59–8 loss to Memphis paid Aaron 15.1, matching Robbie’s Memphis return. Arizona State lost 55–19 to Baylor for 13.6, Arkansas lost 34–7 to Texas A&M for 12.7, UMass lost 38–14 to Eastern Michigan for 12.4, and Colorado lost by 22 for 12.2. UL Monroe and Boston College also contributed. Nine of the thirteen active Toilet teams lost. The department has had worse attendance.

The four holdouts were Purdue, Oregon State, Ohio, and New Mexico State. Purdue beat Tom’s Illinois 24–17, leaving both Tom’s Standard and Tori’s Toilet without game points from the same contest. Oregon State won 56–26, Ohio won 13–10, and New Mexico State won by 21. There are many ways to play good football. Some of them are deeply inconvenient here.

Tori’s Miami beat Clemson 41–13 for 12.8 and UNLV beat California 39–31 for 10.8. Virginia lost to Florida State, Purdue won, and her 7–3 ballot brought the week to 30.6. Fifth becomes eighth. Last week every roster slot paid; this week half the staff did, and the elevator discovered the down button.

Stan collected 35.1 game points from Louisiana, James Madison, and Fresno State, then added six picks for 41.1 overall. Oregon State kept winning in the wrong slot. Stan slipped to seventh despite outscoring several owners above him for the week. Bryson got only Liberty’s 30–14 win for 11.6; Texas and Ole Miss rested, Ohio won, and six picks lifted the gain to 17.6. He moves to ninth.

Rob Duane got 12.7 from Arizona’s 34–7 win over Cincinnati and 12.2 from Colorado’s loss. Army lost by two, Oregon rested, and the poll handed Oregon two places anyway. Six picks completed 32.9 and a move to tenth. Jay’s North Texas survived Tulsa 45–44 for 10.1, alongside Georgia’s 12.4. Washington lost to USC and Georgia State won 42–10 in the Toilet slot. Six picks made 28.5, but Jay slipped to fourteenth.

Robbie rebounded from last week’s 0.7-point gain to 36.2. Memphis supplied 15.1, San Diego State supplied 10.2, and Boston College supplied 10.9 by losing to Mitch’s SMU. Louisville lost by three and no picks were recorded. Rylan also recovered: Texas A&M won, USC won, and Arizona State lost for 36.7 game points. USC’s one-place poll slip reduced the week to 35.7. Rice lost, no ballot arrived, and the bottom two stayed in place with considerably healthier receipts.

Iowa’s six-place fall from No. 14 to No. 20 was the largest drafted-team deduction. BYU rose from No. 10 to No. 8, giving Hayden two back. Rob received two Oregon points without a game; Matt Reed received one Utah point under the same arrangement. Sunday occasionally pays for staying home.

Several winners still received deductions. SMU fell three places after beating Boston College; LSU climbed one, leaving Mitch down two net. Boise State fell one while Alabama rose one, canceling Spencer’s adjustment. Houston fell two while Tennessee rose two, canceling Sarah’s. Indiana fell one while idle Oklahoma State gained one, canceling Tom’s. USC won and still slipped one for Rylan. Texas Tech climbed one for Matt Dillon. The poll’s bookkeeping remains an independent profession.

Aaron led at 8–2. He was the only one of twelve submitted ballots to take Baylor over Arizona State, and Baylor won 55–19. He also picked Northwestern over his own Penn State. His misses were Missouri and Kentucky. All three Standard teams on his roster lost, leaving Charlotte to produce every game point. The picks brought eight; the roster brought a single, very large plumbing receipt.

Tom, Tori, and Matt Dillon shared second at 7–3. Tom alone chose Missouri’s 45–17 win over Florida. Last week Florida was the undrafted superstar sending invoices; this week Missouri sent the return label. Mitch and Bryson were the only two on Kentucky’s 35–34 win at South Carolina. Those three games rewarded one, one, and two ballots, respectively. The crowd did not need a unanimous ambush to have a difficult afternoon.

Bryson, Hayden, Jay, Matt Reed, Mitch, Rob, and Stan finished 6–4. Mo went 5–5. Spencer, Sarah, Robbie, and Rylan had no Week 5 picks recorded. Notre Dame and Tennessee rewarded all twelve ballots, Ohio State and BYU rewarded eleven, and Alabama and Arizona rewarded ten.

Matt Dillon’s seven correct picks caught Mo’s five, leaving them tied at 43 season winners. Stan follows with 42, Aaron and Mitch have 40, and Matt Reed and Rob have 39. Mo still has a penthouse on the ballot leaderboard. Matt Dillon has just moved into the adjoining unit.