The Lead Is Down to a Decimal

Aaron went from twelfth to eighth, and Tori went from thirteenth to ninth: four places apiece. Aaron got paid by all four roster slots for a 54.4-point week, including South Florida beating Army and Charlotte losing by 32 at Ole Miss. Tori banked 50.8 behind Miami and Virginia blowouts, plus Purdue finally remembering what a Toilet team is supposed to do. Last week they were neighbors near the bottom. This week they moved together and left no forwarding address.

Tom climbed from sixteenth to thirteenth. Oklahoma State upset Oregon, Indiana won 55–0, and his ballot improved from 5–7 to 7–3. His PPG actually dipped from 9.375 to 8.975, but three other owners fell below him. Sometimes escaping the basement means finding the stairs; sometimes the building adds another floor underneath you. Rylan also gained three places, fourteenth to eleventh, helped by collecting 25.6 game points when his Texas A&M beat his own Toilet team, Arizona State. Still no picks, still finding ways to pass people.

The biggest climb belongs to Mitch, ninth to fourth, with the week's best ballot and three productive Standard teams. Sarah rose two spots to third; Matt Reed gained one to second. But the upward traffic came with a moving bill: Rob Duane fell nine places, seventh to sixteenth, and Mo dropped six, eighth to fourteenth. Rob lost nine actual points; Mo gained 13.8 and still slid. The poll had very different ideas about what constitutes a productive Sunday.

Matt Dillon and Bryson each slipped three places, to fifth and seventh, despite adding 45.0 and 43.4 points. Jay moved down one to twelfth. Hayden, Stan, Spencer, and Robbie held their positions. Twelve of sixteen owners changed places this week. The standings are apparently assigned seating only until kickoff.

Matt Reed added exactly 63.1 points, matching his entire opening total and doubling it to 126.2. With his scoring games also doubling from four to eight, his PPG did not move at all. His position did: third to second. Sometimes standing perfectly still is how you gain ground.

Michigan's 17–10 win over Oklahoma supplied 10.7 game points and a return to No. 19, recovering seven of the ten ranking points it lost last week. Utah beat Arkansas 43–10 and climbed three places, giving Matt the league's biggest weekly poll gain at ten points. Kansas State and Northern Illinois also paid. One awkward detail: Matt picked Oklahoma. The roster believed in Michigan more than the owner did.

Sarah earned the week's biggest haul, 64.4, and climbed from fifth to third at 14.7 PPG. Notre Dame, Tennessee, and Houston outscored their opponents 174–30 for 44.4 game points. New Mexico State's 29–19 loss at Hawai'i supplied another 11, Tennessee climbed three poll spots, and a 6–4 ballot finished the job. Her 131.9 total remains second-highest in the league. Last week everybody brought a dish. This week Houston showed up with 77 points and a catering license.

Thirteen people picked Oklahoma. Mitch picked Michigan. Thirteen people picked Illinois. Mitch picked Duke. Michigan won 17–10; Duke won 31–27. Two games, two lone believers, same guy. This is the sort of evidence that should make everybody nervous about the next family gathering.

Mitch finished alone at 8–2. His misses were Georgia State, which fooled everyone, and Montana State, which ten other people got right. Add 43.0 game points from LSU, SMU, and Toledo, plus two new ranking points, and he banked 53.0 despite Stanford being idle. He jumps from ninth to fourth at 13.8 PPG, just ahead of Matt Dillon's 13.7. A smaller denominator helped; the exclusive upset collection did not hurt.

Matt Dillon and Mo now share the season Pick'em lead at 24–6 after matching 7–3 weeks. Stan and Bryson are one back with 23 correct. Tom also went 7–3, a welcome reversal from last week's 5–7. Hayden and Jay had the toughest submitted ballots at 5–5, while Robbie and Rylan again had no picks recorded. Thirty available picks into the season, the empty ballot remains a very expensive hobby.

Mo is tied for first in Pick'em and fourteenth overall. Ohio State lost 24–23 at Texas and fell from No. 1 to No. 6. Oklahoma lost at Michigan and dropped from No. 11 to No. 24. Eighteen ranking points disappeared between them. Clemson's win and Arkansas's useful loss generated 24.8 game points, but even with seven correct picks Mo added only 13.8 overall. The ballot is wearing a medal. The roster is on hold with accounting.

Rob Duane had an even rougher weekend. Oregon lost to Oklahoma State, Army lost to South Florida, Arizona lost to BYU, and Colorado beat Weber State. Three Standard losses and a Toilet win: zero game points across all four roster slots. Oregon then fell from No. 6 to No. 21, costing fifteen more. Six correct picks softened the impact, but Rob's total still went backward by nine points, from 50.1 to 41.1. Seventh to sixteenth. Colorado followed last week's betrayal with a 52–21 encore.

Jay found a third route to poll frustration: Washington actually won, 16–14 over Utah State, and still fell from No. 19 out of the rankings. That seven-point deduction trimmed a week with three Standard wins. Bryson got the happier side of the same poll: Texas became No. 1 after beating Ohio State, and Ole Miss climbed to No. 8. Four new ranking points helped, although Ohio winning in the Toilet slot contributed exactly zero to the celebration.

Stan's James Madison beat Wagner 87–3. That is 18.4 pool points from one game, the biggest drafted-team game return of the week. Fresno State added 14.6 and Oregon State lost productively for 11.1. Louisiana lost at USC, but Stan still earned 51.1—exactly his previous total. Like Matt Reed, he doubled both points and games. Unlike Matt, he stayed in the same place: sixth. Plenty of noise, perfectly preserved PPG.

Rylan arranged the most efficient transaction: his Texas A&M beat his Arizona State 48–20. The Standard win and Toilet loss each paid 12.8, for 25.6 game points from one scoreboard. USC supplied 11.9 more and the poll added three. Rice's 52–0 loss at Notre Dame hurt, but Rylan still climbed from fourteenth to eleventh. The draft-day projected last-place roster keeps finding answers. The Pick'em form is still waiting for one.

Aaron moved from twelfth to eighth with 54.4 new points and contributions from every slot. Penn State won at Temple, South Florida beat Army, Hawai'i beat New Mexico State, and Charlotte lost 41–9 at Ole Miss. Charlotte and Ole Miss each paid their respective owners 13.2. Aaron and Bryson were briefly operating a joint plumbing venture.

Tori climbed four spots to ninth, thanks to Miami's 77–7 win, Virginia's 59–3 win, and Purdue finally losing 38–36 to Wake Forest. UNLV's 44–6 loss at North Texas limited the party, but the Toilet is working. Spencer is just 0.035 PPG behind her in tenth after wins from Alabama, Boise State, and TCU. His UTEP followed last week's 51-point loss with a 41-point win. We regret to announce that Employee of the Weak comes with no performance guarantee.

Tom escaped last place and reached thirteenth. Oklahoma State's 39–31 upset of Oregon supplied 10.8, Indiana's 55–0 win paid 15.5, and the ballot improved to 7–3. UMass still won, because apparently it enjoys this joke. Robbie stayed fifteenth: Louisville's 59–13 win and one-spot poll climb supplied his entire 15.6-point week. Memphis and San Diego State lost, Boston College won in the wrong slot, and the blank ballot provided no rescue package.